So many years we start off with new and wonderous intentions, but after 2020 many of us are starting the year by licking wounds and trying to avoid falling through the cracks. (You may be quite nervous about even making new years resolutions this year). So this year almost more than any other is the year to figure out how to turn the unpredictability of last year into the fresh potential of 2021. (And if you do nothing else in 2021 developing your unconditional self-worth could be at the top of the list and I'll tell you why...)
I was introduced to the concept of 'Unconditional Positive Regard' by Carl Rogers (the Father of Person Centred Therapy) while studying a Bachelor of Counselling. In a Therapeutic setting 'Unconditional Positive Regard' is one of the key building blocks to facilitate therapeutic relationships between counsellor and client. However after 10yrs of counselling I realised I saw so few people use this 'unconditional positive regard' when it came to themselves (counsellors, managers, CEO's and clients alike).
But lets be clear, self-worth can't be based upon the ego, that would self-esteem. And self-esteem is based upon skills, abilities and accomplishments. Self-esteem is very influenced by these factors and so quite naturally our self-esteem fluctuates and is not steady. It flows up and down with our accomplishments over time. But self-worth is absent of comparison to others, self-worth is a deeper level of respect for life and living. It's a deep knowing that every living thing has value, and you are one of those things.
And when you add 'Empathic Understanding', (which is the second tool in Person Centred Therapy) to the inner world you become nourished and full. 'Empathic understanding' requires developing a growing relationship, in which there is this loving connection between the heart & mind or in psych terms 'intergration'. In yoga terms this is called Balance, Sattva, or Samadhi.
The third tool of Person Centred Therapy can be applied to the inner relationship and that is 'Congurence', described as, 'the therapist's internal and external experiences are one and the same. In short, the therapist is authentic...This authenticity functions as a model of a human being struggling toward greater realness'. (Rogers 1977) Aren't we all struggling toward greater realness...
In yoga the posture which is recommended for self-worth is Natarajasana - the cosmic dancer. (I will teach this posture in our next classes. Don't worry there are variations)
So I know you have to run by maybe before you start implementing that lovely exciting list of resolutions this year. You spare some room for some unconditional self-worth, empathic understanding and congruence within. And I hope it helps 2021 be kind and gentle to you.....namaste.
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